


Young Hearts (the dangerous book for girls remix)

by Netgirl_y2k



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Asexual Character, Background Relationships, Character Study, F/F, Female Friendship, Gen, Remix, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-12 15:54:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4485696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Netgirl_y2k/pseuds/Netgirl_y2k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This," grumbled Mithian as she clamped her hand over Vivian's mouth to forestall a ballad about Arthur's majestic conk, "is why I don't fancy anybody."</p><p>Elena caught her eye and grinned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Young Hearts (the dangerous book for girls remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [growlery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/growlery/gifts).
  * Inspired by [got my heavy heart to hold me down](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1454923) by [growlery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/growlery/pseuds/growlery). 



> Thank you to fitz_y for very helpful beta reading.

_First Year_

The year Mithian started Hogwarts the school was a bit like the setting of a boys' own adventure story. 

It was just that Mithian's year included a magical prodigy - a muggleborn boy doing OWL level magic at the age of eleven - and the son of the Minister for Magic.

Merlin Emrys was one of the first called up to the Sorting Hat. Mithian, along with the rest of first year, stood on her tiptoes to get a good look at the magical prodigy who'd been the talk of the Hogwarts Express. He wasn't much to look at - he was probably the smallest boy in line, and it was only his sticky-out ears that stopped the Sorting Hat from falling down to his shoulders. 

The Hat took a long time, more than a minute, to announce Merlin as a "SLYTHERIN!"

The students who followed Merlin were sorted more quickly. The Gryffindor table welcomed a ginger boy called Leon Knight with whoops and cheers. Freya Lake and Morgana le Fay were declared a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin respectively as soon as the Hat touched their heads. 

Then Mithian was at the front of the line and being called forward. "Nemeth, Mithian."

Mithian's knees turned to jelly, but she managed to walk up to the Sorting Hat without tripping and falling flat on her face; that would have been a bad start to her seven years at Hogwarts. 

The Hat fell down over Mithian's eyes.

"Nemeth, hmm?" the Hat whispered in Mithian's ear. "I remember your father. He was a credit to Hufflepuff house. Not Hufflepuff for you, though, and not Slytherin either. Gryffindor, perhaps - you're certainly brave enough. Or Ravenclaw, you thirst for magical knowledge, you believe it's your birthright--" 

_It is,_ Mithian thought fiercely at the Hat. 

Mithian was the half-blood daughter of divorced parents; up until her Hogwarts letter arrived she'd been living with her muggle mum, having only one weekend a month with her wizard dad. 

They'd only disembarked the Hogwarts Express half an hour ago, and already Mithian felt like she was behind half her classmates; the difference between Mithian and her wide-eyed muggleborn classmates was that she knew how much catching up she had to do. 

The Hat announced that Mithian was a "RAVENCLAW!" for the entire Hall to hear, and grinning ear-to-ear Mithian trotted over to the long table whose occupants had just broken into applause. 

Mithian was clapped on her back, and had her hand shaken by the prefects and the Ravenclaw head girl, Helen Moira. She was slotted into a seat among the younger students just in time to see the next first year called up to the Sorting Hat.

"Pendragon, Arthur." 

A blond boy strutted up to the Sorting Hat; as though no one had told him that Hogwarts had a pecking order, and first years _don't_ strut.

That Hat took maybe thirty seconds, thirty seconds in which Arthur's knee jiggled nervously, before it announced him a "GRYFFINDOR!"

All of Arthur's nerves seemed forgotten when the Gryffindor table erupted into a cacophony of cheering, whistles, and foot stamping. Arthur preened as though he was his dad - as though he was the Minister for Magic, as though he was the one who'd played Beater for England. 

Disgruntled mutters of "Wanker" came from a few of the older Ravenclaw students, but they were drowned out by the racket from the Gryffindor table. They quieted down just in time for Mithian to see Gwen Smith, a muggleborn girl who Mithian had met on the train, sorted into Hufflepuff.

*

If Hogwarts was like a muggle movie then Arthur and Merlin would have hated each other on sight - a jock and a brain, a Gryffindor and a Slytherin - instead they were best friends by the end of the first week. 

Over the course of the year it started to feel like the entire school was tilting slowly but surely in the direction of the two boys.

The teachers designed special advanced classes for Merlin; he was always going to be top of their year. 

Arthur made the Gryffindor Quidditch team. First years _never_ make the House teams; Mithian didn't even bother trying-out, she'd left her broom in the shed at her dad's house. 

Arthur and Merlin mostly hung around with Leon Knight of Gryffindor and Lancelot du Lac of Hufflepuff, but all of the boys in their year orbited around them; a lot of the girls did, too.

One of the first things Mithian had in common with Gwen, Freya, and Morgana was that none of them had come to Hogwarts for the Arthur and Merlin show.

*

Mithian's favourite place to do her homework was the Hufflepuff common room.

The library was full of OWL and NEWT students, and the older Ravenclaws took over the tables in their common room, forcing the first and second years to sit on the floor; it was hard to write with a quill and ink when your parchment was balanced on your knees.

The Hufflepuff common room had a surplus of cozy study nooks, and a constant supply of scones; the result of living close to the kitchens and being nice to the House Elves. 

While Mithian was in the Hufflepuff common room anyway she could ask Freya to read over her essay on Grindylows for Defence Against the Dark Arts; Freya's parents lived in the Lake District where they studied freshwater magical creatures.

"You're fine," said Freya, handing Mithian's essay back with a shy smile. "Mum's latest discoveries haven't made it into _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ yet."

"Cheers, Freya." 

"Morgana will just have to manage by herself," said Gwen, crossing out and changing bits of her own essay based on Freya's suggestions, "seeing as she's too embarrassed to be seen coming into the Hufflepuff common room."

Mithian rolled her eyes. "You know what she's like; she thinks it'll ruin her reputation as a big, bad Slytherin."

*

Were it not for Arthur and Merlin, Morgana le Fay would have been the most notorious student in Mithian's year: she's an orphan whose parents were, depending on which story you listen to, either dark wizards or victims of the Imperius Curse. During the school holidays she lived with her godfather, Uther Pendragon, the Minister for Magic; making her Arthur Pendragon's kind of, sort of sister. 

One night long after they should have been in bed Mithian snuck Morgana up to the roof of Ravenclaw Tower where they had Astronomy class on clear nights.

"They weren't cursed," said Morgana without looking at Mithian. "Uther put that about because he couldn't bear the Daily Prophet headlines about him having been friends with dark wizards. Now everyone thinks that I'm going to go the same way as them. All Slytherins are the same, right?"

They were sitting cross-legged beneath an overcast sky. Mithian nudged Morgana's pinkie finger with her own. "My mum left my dad when she found out he was a wizard, and she took me with her. She hoped I'd be a squib."

Morgana snorted. " _Parents_."

"Yeah," agreed Mithian, "boarding school was definitely the way to go." 

*

Arthur led the Gryffindor Quidditch team to a final against Slytherin.

The captain of Gryffindor was a fifth year called Tristan something-or-other, but no one denied that Arthur was their leader in truth, and not just because he was the Seeker. 

This must be how cults of personality get started, thought Mithian.

Morgana was furious. "He's only on the team because of Uther, anyway." 

Mithian knew that wasn't true. Arthur had a natural talent for Quidditch, and Mithian often saw him practicing until dark from the windows of Ravenclaw Tower. 

There was no point saying any of that to Morgana, who was now threatening to hex Arthur from his broom. She wouldn't actually do it; it was all sibling rivalry and House loyalty. Mithian held out her hand and said, "Hey, lend me your wand for a second?"

Freya sat on Mithian's other side dividing her attention between the Quidditch match and practicing the wand movements for a Levitation Charm - her flick at the end wasn't pronounced enough, and Mithian automatically reached out to correct her.

Gwen sat at the end of their row, bundled up in a Hufflepuff scarf and bent over her copy of Hogwarts: a History; every so often she glanced up and said, "Offside." Mithian squinted at her, and Gwen said, "My dad and brother used to take me to football with them sometimes. I could never get into it, so Elyan told me to cheer when everyone else did, and every so often accuse someone of being offside."

Arthur caught the snitch and Gryffindor won. Merlin transfigured Arthur's broom into a lion in celebration; one of the teachers changed back, leaving Arthur clinging to a nonexistent mane, and Merlin was hauled off to detention to write five hundred lines of: _I will not endanger my fellow students by performing magic too advanced for me_.

The Slytherins placed second, which didn't keep Morgana and her housemates from their collective snit. 

Hufflepuff came third, but neither Gwen nor Freya were that interested in Quidditch and had only started watching the matches because Mithian wanted to.

Ravenclaw came dead last. 

*

Mithian bumped into Gwen just as she was leaving the Owlery. 

She should have been studying for her end of year exams, instead her parents were arguing with each other, and with Mithian, about where she'll be spending the summer holidays. Mithian was lobbying hard for her dad's - at least there she could practice Quidditch and read his magical books. 

Mithian was distracted by her bad mood, as was Gwen by trying to roll up a letter small enough to attach to the leg of one of the school owls, so they smacked right into each other. 

"Gwen, sorry!" said Mithian, grabbing Gwen by the elbows to stop her tumbling backwards down the steps. "I didn't see you there."

"My fault," Gwen said with a grin. "I wasn't looking where I was going. I was thinking about--" She held up her letter. "It's to congratulate my little brother, he just got his Hogwarts letter. I'm the first witch in my family, so I didn't know if Elyan was going to get to come to school here."

"That's great," said Mithian, before she remembered that the only other one of their group to have even a kind of, sort of brother was Morgana. " _Is_ it great?"

"Yeah. I mean, he'll be gutted there's no football here, and dad will be sorry that Elyan's probably not going to grow up to play for West Ham. And it's a little weird to think of someone from home being here, but it's great!"

"It's weird to think that we won't be first years much longer," said Mithian. 

 

_Second Year_

The Sorting Ceremony was already underway when Mithian made it to the Great Hall; she'd nipped up to her dorm room to make sure that her broomstick had made it safely off the train.

Gwen's younger brother was easy enough to spot; he was the boy trying to pretend that he didn't see Gwen waving at him from the Hufflepuff table.

Mithian waved across the Hall, Gwen was looking at Elyan, but Freya waved back. 

Elyan seemed to realise that his sister had no qualms about embarrassing him, and wasn't going to stop waving until she got a response; he raised his arm in a quick, furtive greeting. 

Mithian passed the Slytherin table; she rapped her knuckles against Morgana's dark head in greeting, and Morgana whipped round to glare at her as she slipped into an empty spot at the Ravenclaw table. She'd missed the start of the Sorting; Ravenclaw House had already gained two new members.

"Gawant, Elena." 

The girl called up to the Sorting Hat was all puppy fat, angry blonde hair, and little kid grin. She took a step towards the Hat, her foot tangled in her robe, and she fell flat on her face. Lots of first years would have burst into tears or run from the Great Hall; Elena hopped to her feet, took a sweeping bow, and jammed the Sorting Hat onto her head.

Morgana tried to catch Mithian's eye to share in a malicious grin, but Mithian avoided looking at her, and when the Sorting Hat declared Elena a "GRYYFINDOR!" Mithian cheered as loudly as Arthur or Leon.

* 

Half the Ravenclaw Quidditch team had left Hogwarts last year - good riddance - and Mithian was practicing for tryouts.

She was making her way back to the Ravenclaw common room with her broom over her shoulder when she found Elena stuck knee deep in the trick step halfway up the tower stairs.

"Yeah," she said, offering the handle of her broom for Elena to haul herself up by. "That step's quicksand, you have to remember to jump it."

"This place is _mad_ ," said Elena, sounding delighted by the fact.

Mithian offered her hand to the younger girl; she noticed that each of Elena's nails was painted a different colour, the polish smudged into the skin of her fingertips. "I'm Mithian, by the way."

"Elena. Hi."

"I know. I remember you from the Sorting."

"Half the school probably remembers me from the Sorting," Elena said cheerfully. "Don't let anyone say I don't know how to make an entrance."

"You know this is Ravenclaw Tower, right?" said Mithian. "The Gryffindors are on the other side of the castle."

"How long did it take you to get used to this place?" Elena asked.

If Mithian were being honest she would have said that she still wasn't used to Hogwarts. There was a Ravenclaw seventh year who'd walked through a previously unnoticed door and wound up on the other side of the castle three weeks later. 

There was something about Elena though, something that made Mithian think she really was unfazed by Hogwarts and not just faking it like everyone else. She bumped Elena's shoulder with her own and said, "Stick with me, kid, I'll show you the ropes."

*

"Are you going to tryout for the Slytherin team?" Mithian asked as she and Morgana dismounted from their brooms beside the Quidditch pitch. 

Gwen's muggleborn and had never managed to get comfortable on a broom, and Freya would sooner swim than fly; plus, Morgana wasn't half-bad at Quidditch, so she was the one helping Mithian prepare for tryouts.

"Why bother?" said Morgana. "Arthur made the Gryffindor team first year; it's all anyone could talk about this summer." 

Mithian had visited Morgana for a weekend during the holidays; there were more red and gold lions in Pendragon Manor than there are in the Gryffindor common room. 

Mithian noticed Elena sitting with another girl in the empty stands. There was blood drying on her chin from a burst nose, but in what Mithian was coming to recognise as typical Elena fashion she bounced up and down and waved enthusiastically. 

Mithian waved back, shouldered her broom, and headed over; Morgana trailed behind her. 

"What on earth happened to you?"

"Flying lesson," said Elena, though through the blood and burst nose it sounded more like _flying bison._

"She fell off her broom, like, right onto her face," said the first year sitting next to Elena; she was a tiny, prissy looking blonde. "I'm supposed to be taking her to the Hospital Wing."

"Don't bother," Morgana advised. "Healer Gaius is a total weirdo." 

Morgana whipped out her wand and practically jammed it up Elena's nose; there was a sickening crack, and Elena recoiled with a yelp, her hands clamped over her face. Mithian winced sympathetically.

Elena removed her hands. She sniffed, scrunched her face up like a gerbil, and tweaked her own nose. She turned her little-kid grin on Morgana and said, "Thanks!"

Morgana shrugged like she didn't care. The girl sitting with Elena looked at her dubiously and said, "Are you supposed to be doing magic outside of classes?"

"Oh," said Elena hopping to her feet to make introductions. "This is Vivian Olafsdottir, fellow Gryffindor--"

A smirk slid onto Morgana's face. "I've heard of your family. Your father's a squib."

"My father's a _barrister_ ," said Vivian. "And at least he's not a dark wizard. You're Morgana le Fay, right? I've heard of your family too."

Morgana still had her wand in hand, and Vivian had shot to her feet and drawn hers at the word squib. 

Elena caught Vivian by the elbow. "Viv..." she said. She shot Mithian a conspiring look as Mithian stepped between Morgana and Vivian.

*

Gwen's brother Elyan joined her in Hufflepuff House, along with a boy called Percy who was bigger than a lot of the third years; together with Gwaine Green of Gryffindor they joined Arthur and Merlin's gang of mates.

Just like they did with inter-house friendships last year, Arthur and Merlin had somehow made it okay to be friends with first years, so Elena and Vivian started to hang around with Mithian and her friends.

After a few minutes of sniping about each other's fathers, and a fair bit of pureblood posturing (Vivian said that her father being a squib didn't change the fact that her family could be traced back to Godric Gryffindor!) Morgana and Vivian turned out to get along like a house on fire.

Gwen and Vivian did not. It was partly pureblood prejudice; Freya's family might be weird, and Morgana's criminally dodgy, but they were purebloods, and Mithian and Elena were at least half-blood. Gwen was the only muggleborn among them. Partly, it's muggle nonsense; Vivian's dad was a barrister, Gwen's was a builder. 

But Gwen was friends with Mithian; Mithian liked Elena, and Vivian and Elena came as a pair.

*

Herbology was the only class that the Ravenclaws had with the Hufflepuffs.

"I know Vivian can be a cow sometimes," said Mithian as she and Gwen filled a bag with Leaping Toadstools. "But half the things she says are things Morgana's been saying since first year."

"Did Morgana ever tell you that we'd met before the Hogwarts Express?" 

Mithian shook her head and grabbed for a toadstool that was trying to make its escape over Gwen's shoulder. 

"Dad and I met her the weekend that we came to London to get my school stuff. She showed us around Diagon Alley. We hung out and got our books and robes together; she even tried to explain Quidditch to dad. I was still freaked out after finding out I was a witch, and she was nice; I guess I can't help remembering that, even when she's behaving like a total b--" 

*

It felt like half of Ravenclaw was trying-out for the Quidditch team, and the other half had turned out to watch. 

Some part of Mithian wanted to be in the audience. Second years almost never made the House teams; she could always tryout next year, or even in fourth year. She raised her chin and met the stares of the fifth and sixth years who were looking sideways at her and snickering; she _knew_ she was a good flier. 

Arthur Pendragon and players from the Hufflepuff and Slytherin teams were checking out the competition from the sidelines. Mithian's friends sat in the stands for moral support.

Freya gave Mithian two thumbs up. Morgana started to wave, then changed her mind and pretended she was flicking her hair over her shoulder. Vivian was ignoring tryouts and watching Gwen fix Elena's tooth, which she had knocked loose tripping on her way to the Quidditch pitch. They had all become handy with those sorts of low level healing charms since they'd started hanging around with Elena. According to Elena, Gwen was the best at it; Freya was too tentative, and Morgana wielded her wand as though she was about to perform unnecessary brain surgery.

Mithian mounted her broom. The snitch was released, and Mithian and all the Ravenclaws trying out for Seeker shot into the air after it.

Later, Mithian touched down, dismounted, and blinked disbelievingly at the snitch still struggling in her grip. 

The new Ravenclaw captain, a windswept fourth year called Enmyria, punched Mithian companionably on the shoulder. "Well," she said, "you can't be any worse than the bloke we had last year."

*

Mithian, Morgana, Gwen, and Freya had kicked four Gryffindor first years out of their seats in order to sit with Elena and Vivian at dinner. Well, Morgana had done most of the actual kicking. She looked over her shoulder before bending her head close and starting to fill Mithian in on the details of the Slytherin Quidditch team.

"Alvaar's been on the team since his second year; he's way too big and tall to be a Seeker now, but he's a seventh year and a pureblood, and the captain's a fifth year, plus he's only half-blood, so he's hardly going to chuck Alvaar off the team."

Gwen frowned. "Being in Slytherin must be _exhausting_."

Morgana shrugged and said, "It's good training for the real world."

Her last few peas and a smear of mashed potato vanished from Mithian's plate, and various desserts appeared to weigh down the Gryffindor table.

Elena reached across to help herself to a slice of treacle tart; her nail polish was still smudged, and she'd abandoned her rainbow to paint them the Gryffindor colours; she'd Charmed them to alternate between red and gold. 

"That's cool," said Mithian.

Elena grinned around a mouthful of treacle tart. "I can do yours in the Ravenclaw colours, if you'd like? Come up to Gryffindor Tower after dinner." 

*

"Sit on my bed," said Elena. "Vivian will go spare if I get nail polish on her duvet."

Elena dug through her nightstand producing a half-eaten box of chocolate frogs, a scorched Gryffindor tie -- "Potions accident" -- and a box of nail polishes. "This is the right shade of blue for Ravenclaw, isn't it?" said Elena, emptying the box out onto her duvet. "Hang on, I know I've got a silver here somewhere."

"You've got a lot of those," said Mithian. 

"My Aunt Grunhilda sends them. She says painting your nails is _ladylike_."

Mithian raised an eyebrow. "Is it?"

Elena grinned. "Not when I do it."

*

By the time she was having breakfast on the morning of her first match, Mithian had nervously scratched most of Elena's enchanted nail polish off.

Gwen and Freya had acquired Ravenclaw scarves from somewhere. Morgana had tried to hip-check Mithian into a half empty bowl of cereal on their way from the Great Hall, but her advice was sound; Alvaar was too big and slow to be a match for the much faster Mithian, and he had to rely on the Slytherin Beaters to keep her from really looking for the snitch. 

Mithian dodged bludgers until Enmyria left her other Beater to guard the Ravenclaw Chasers and flew protective loops around Mithian, brandishing her bat, until Mithian finally spotted the snitch hovering just above the commentary box. When she dived Alvaar had no chance of keeping up.

*

Mithian's beginner's luck didn't hold for the game against Gryffindor. Arthur Pendragon actually smacked her in the face with the bristles of his broom when he swooped in to grab the snitch from just beyond Mithian's outstretched fingers. 

Back on the ground Arthur came up to her with his arm outstretched, and Mithian offered her own hand to shake. Arthur grinned, opened his hand, and the snitch shot into the air between them.

Mithian let out a bark of laughter. "You complete prat."

Arthur backed off with a wave. "Rematch next year, yeah?" he called over his shoulder. 

 

_Third Year_

Mithian bit down hard on her bottom lip to keep from laughing when a first year called Mordred fell out of his seat in surprise at Headmaster Kilgharrah's speech at the welcoming feast. 

From her lofty position as a third year it was hard for Mithian to remember a time when she didn't know that the headmaster never left his office and magically projected his voice throughout the castle when he wanted to address the student body. 

Deputy Headmistress Aithusa was a quiet ghost who kept discipline through a combination of baleful looks and unexpectedly walking through walls in the vicinity of troublemaking students. She taught Arithmancy to third years and up, and this year Mithian was joining her class.

Gwen was taking Arithmancy too. "I miss maths," she'd confessed to Mithian. 

Freya was taking Muggle Studies -- "Might need your help," she'd said, leaning against Gwen -- and Care of Magical Creatures. Morgana was taking Care of Magical Creatures too, as well as Divination.

*

The first Quidditch practice of the year took place on a muggy Saturday morning, and left Mithian's Quidditch robes sticking to her back with sweat. 

She had only meant to stop by the lake to tell the others that she was going up to the castle to change, but she'd flopped down onto the grass and now she couldn't summon the will to get up again. 

"I might tryout for the Quidditch team," said Elena. 

Mithian propped herself up on her elbow and exchanged an alarmed look with Gwen. Before either of them could properly sugarcoat a response, Vivian let out a honk of laughter. "Ha! Elena, don't be silly. You're a menace to yourself on the ground; you'd _die_."

"Oh,'" said Morgana, snatching up a piece of parchment and a quill. "Elena can fall and break her neck!"

Mithian waited for Morgana to offer an explanation, but it was Gwen who answered. "She's pretending to predict terrible futures for us all for her Divination homework."

"I drown," said Freya, pulling up handfuls of grass and not sounding all that dismayed by the prospect. 

"Good to see you taking it seriously," said Mithian. 

"Sorry," said Morgana, rolling her eyes. "Have I offended your delicate Ravenclaw sensibilities?"

"Well, you could at least divinate something useful. What's the result of the Ravenclaw - Slytherin Quidditch match going to be?"

"Two hundred and fifty - nil," said Morgana without looking up. "To Slytherin."

*

The Slytherin Quidditch team had a new seeker. Mordred was a first year and small for his age, so Mithian no longer had the advantage of size and speed.

She caught the snitch anyway. 

"She hexed me!" Mordred accused Mithian as soon as they had both touched down. "She saw that I'd spotted the snitch and she hexed me!"

"You little--"

"Language, Miss Nemeth!" Professor Annis, the scrupulously fair head of Ravenclaw had Mithian, Mordred and both team captains accompany her to her office.

"Did anyone else see this hex?" she asked.

Mordred and his captain shared a hesitant glance. "Er--"

"I see."

"Professor, please," said Enmyria. "I was flying next to Mithian the whole time. I have to--" she glared at the Slytherins "--because they know they can't beat us fairly, so Cenred and Helios just knock one bludger after another at our Seeker. Mithian didn't even draw her wand."

They were dismissed; fifteen points were taken from Slytherin for lying, and five points were taken from Ravenclaw for Mithian's use of foul language. 

*

It was getting too grey and chilly for the girls to sit out by the lake before dinner.

Mithian was using a rock to hold her book open to the right page despite the breeze, and Gwen was tending to Freya and Morgana's Care of Magical Creatures related injuries; Freya had bloody scrapes to her palms and knees, and Morgana had a black eye. 

"Well, I'm definitely not taking Care of Magical Creatures next year," said Vivian.

Elena leaned against Mithian's back, propped her chin on Mithian's shoulder, and peered at her homework. "Study of Ancient Runes doesn't look great either."

"Yeah," said Gwen, holding Morgana still by her chin, "but Vivian's dad probably wouldn't send a Howler about Ancient Runes."

Vivian's father had become known for sending the school Howlers about the health and safety implications of everything from flying lessons to the haunted staircase in Gryffindor Tower.

"I don't know," said Mithian, squinting at her book, "there's the ever present danger of being bored to death."

*

Mithian wished she hadn't decided to have breakfast at the Slytherin table, even if they did have the crispiest bacon and least rubbery eggs. She wished she'd had pumpkin juice or coffee, because having Morgana read her future in her tea leaves wasn't Mithian's idea of a great way to start the day; especially as Morgana was predicting tall, dark, handsome strangers and a series of increasingly nasty Quidditch accidents.

Freya passed her teacup over Elena's bowed head; Elena was copying Vivian's Transfiguration homework, and adding a few mistakes and splotches of melted butter for authenticity. "Do me next," she said.

Morgana peered into Freya's cup, and said weightily, "You'll be attacked by a vicious monster this afternoon."

Mithian rolled her eyes. "You pair have double Care of Magical Creatures after lunch, that's not exactly a long shot."

"Professor Dochraid says I have a gift for Divination," replied Morgana. 

Arthur, who was having breakfast with Merlin a few seats down, snorted and said, "That'll be why everyone calls her the mad bat, then."

Morgana turned a baleful stare on the boys and said, "And what will they call you two when your dragon burns the school down?"

"Huh?" said Mithian, tugging at the sleeve of Morgana's robes. 

Morgana blinked, shook her head as though to clear it, and said, "Come on, we'll be late for Potions." She snatched up her bag and stalked away, oblivious to the fact that Arthur's mouth was hanging open and Merlin had suddenly come over all twitchy.

*

Morgana refused to elaborate on what she'd said at breakfast, and when pressed she said that she didn't remember saying it. 

Months later it turned out that Arthur and Merlin had, in fact, been raising a dragon egg in the disused gamekeepers hut for most of the year.

It had hatched, already breathing fire, and unhappy to find itself in the charge of two teenaged boys in a dingy gamekeeper's cottage, after the Easter holidays.

Only the fact that Arthur and Merlin had been heroic in their efforts to protect the other students - and the intervention of Arthur's father, Mithian guessed - stopped both boys from being expelled.

End of year exams were cancelled, the Quidditch finals were cancelled, and Hogwarts was closing three weeks early for the summer; Mithian was angry about all of those things.

The first time Mithian saw Arthur after the dragon attack she was returning from the Owlery where she'd just sent Elphius, her dad's owl, back home with a note to say that she would go to her mum's until the official start of the school holidays before going to dad's as planned.

Mithian knew she didn't have the worst of it; Morgana wasn't looking forward to the atmosphere at Pendragon Manor this summer, and Vivian's dad had already sent three Howlers threatening to pull her out of school for next year.

Arthur was sitting on the school steps waiting for his father. He looked so pathetic that Mithian actually felt a bit sorry for him. 

"Alright, Arthur?"

"Yeah, alright," he replied darkly.

Mithian hadn't seen much of the dragon attack. She'd been deputised by the Ravenclaw prefects to keep the first and second years calm and safe, and she knew Gwen and Freya had been doing the same for the younger Hufflepuffs. 

When she'd been leading her charges downstairs to somewhere less of a tempting target than Ravenclaw Tower Mithian had passed Morgana going the other way, hoping to see the dragon from a good vantage point, she'd said, the bloody madwoman. 

Arthur looked so guilty, shaky and pale as milk, that Mithian couldn't help trying to cheer him up. "I know why you did it," she said. "It's because you know you couldn't beat me at Quidditch this year, wasn't it?"

Arthur let out a hollow laugh. 

"Do you think this is funny, young man?" barked the Minister for Magic from the top step; he must have flooed directly to the castle.

"No, sir." 

Uther Pendragon swept down the stairs looking more like bat than a politician or a Beater gone to seed. He brushed past Mithian as though she wasn't there, hauled Arthur up by the arm and said, "We're going home. Now."

Arthur looked over his shoulder at Mithian, who mouthed, "See you next year."

 

_Fourth Year_

Fourth Year was the year they were supposed to start preparing for their OWLS. 

They received serious lectures about the exams from Professor Nimueh in Charms, Professor Annis in Transfiguration, and Professor Aredian in Potions. 

The Potions one made even Morgana straighten up from her habitual slouch.

Professor Nimueh was known to favour Gryffindor, if not as much as the other Houses thought she did, and Professor Annis was scrupulously fair when it came to deducting points from Ravenclaw, but Aredian seemed to take malicious pleasure in doling out punishments to his own Slytherin students.

But with the OWLs two years away Mithian was the only one who took the teachers warnings to heart. Everyone else seemed to have other things on their minds all of a sudden.

*

"Do you fancy anyone?" the question, of course, came from Vivian.

Mithian felt her face twist into a grimace. Morgana scoffed and said, "Who's worth fancying around here?"

"Um," said Gwen. "I noticed-- I mean, Lancelot's nice. I've noticed that he's nice."

"Too Hufflepuff," said Morgana dismissively. 

"Does anyone know if Merlin fancies anybody?" Elena asked. Everyone gaped at her; Elena still wore robes with room to grow into, and she had an unselfconscious smear of chocolate frog around her mouth, it was hard to imagine her fancying anybody. "Oh, no! I promised Gwaine I'd ask for him. You have Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts with the Slytherins, don't you, Mithian?"

"Yeah, but I hardly ever see Merlin, he's got all those advanced classes." Rumour had it that the headmaster was teaching Merlin wandless magic himself. "Ask Morgana, she lives with him."

Morgana snorted and said, "How much time do you imagine I spend thinking about Merlin's love life, honestly?"

*

Gwen's puppy fat had slowly transformed into soft curves; she saved up her pocket money and bought makeup from Hogsmeade, and practiced hair-taming charms. 

Not all of the boys in Mithian's year had started to notice girls yet, but some had, and Lancelot du Lac noticed Gwen right around the same time she noticed him. 

The Hufflepuff common room had always been Mithian's preferred place to go when she couldn't figure out the answer to the riddle to get into Ravenclaw Tower. But now every time she was there she felt like she was caught between Gwen and Lancelot's long, soppy looks. 

Freya said that it was cute; Elyan caught Mithian's eye and mimed gagging.

The Hufflepuff common room was easy to get into; you just knocked on the door and asked to come in. Entry to the Slytherin common room required Mithian to hang around the dungeons until she could intercept a Slytherin first year who looked as though they might be sufficiently intimidated by Mithian being a friend of Morgana's to give up the password.

Towards the back of the common room Mithian found Morgana being told off by Sophia, a haughty, red-haired Slytherin prefect. "I didn't give you the key to the prefect's bathroom so that you could go around snogging third years."

What the--?

Sophia shuddered. "Her father's a squib, do you know that?" She spotted Mithian. "What are you doing here, Ravenclaw?"

"I--"

"She's looking for me," Morgana said quickly. "I'm late for study group in the library. Come on, then." She grabbed Mithian's wrist and dragged her from the common room.

They walked in the direction of the library, for lack of any better ideas. 

"Vivian," said Mithian, with a sideways look at Morgana, " _really?_ "

Morgana shrugged. "She'd never snogged anyone before. She said she wanted to try it; I offered."

Mithian skipped over the fact that a glorified toilet didn't sound like the most hygienic place to be kissing anyone. "What is this: intro to snogging with Morgana le Fay? Who's next, Percy?"

Morgana made a face. "That'd be like kissing a troll."

"Gwaine?"

"Knew he preferred boys back when he was still in short trousers."

"Elena?"

"God, could you imagine--"

Mithian scowled; Morgana had laughed a little too hard and too long at the idea of kissing Elena, and Mithian had always felt protective of the younger girl.

*

Ever since the boys had started to peek out of their no-girls-allowed clubhouse, they'd all started hanging around together in a big group, usually on Hogsmeade weekends.

They split up once they got to the village, peeling off in ones and twos until Gwen and Lancelot were wandering along the high street hand in hand and oblivious to the fact that they were completely alone. 

Elena tagged along to Zonko's with Gwaine, Elyan, and Percy. Mithian and Freya went to browse in Tomes and Scrolls bookshop. 

Mithian was reading the blurb of Quidditch Through the Ages when Freya cleared her throat nervously. "Did Elena ever find out if Merlin fancies anyone, do you know?"

"Why--? Oh, not you too." Mithian slotted the book back onto the shelf. "I'm going to see where Morgana's vanished to."

Freya ducked her head. "I think she's taken Vivian up to see the Shrieking Shack."

"Since when is Vivian interested in the-- _Oh_."

*

Leon caught Mithian as she was stuffing her books into her bag after Transfiguration. "Are you going to Hogsmeade this weekend?" he asked.

"Probably, yeah."

"I'm going too." 

"Yeah?" said Mithian. Of course Leon was going; everyone went to the village on Hogsmeade weekends.

"Maybe we could meet in the Great Hall and walk down together?" Leon asked, very quickly. 

Mithian was going to be late for Arithmancy, she swung her bag over her shoulder and said, "Sure. See you then."

*

Leon, who Mithian was used to seeing as just one of the gaggle of boys that surrounded Arthur and Merlin, was waiting for her alone. He was wearing muggle clothes, including a shirt that he must have tried to use an Ironing Charm on.

Leon plucked at his collar, and blushed as red as his hair. "Hi." 

Mithian's stomach plunged as she realised that Leon had asked her _out_ out. So much for that famed Ravenclaw intelligence.

"Er, hi."

"We could go to Madam Puddifoot's?" suggested Leon as they were walking down to the village. Mithian made a face, she couldn't help it. "Or, we could walk out to the Shrieking Shack?"

"How about the Post Office?" Mithian countered

"Sure," agreed Leon. "I, um, like owls."

*

Mithian felt so stupid after her terrible date with Leon. If she'd know he was properly asking her out she would have said no, let him down gently. 

She hadn't felt this thick and overwhelmed since first year. It felt like all her friends were picking up something that was as natural to them as breathing, and Mithian just wasn't getting it.

She skipped the next Hogsmeade weekend, retreated to the Ravenclaw common room, and threw herself into her homework.

"Mithian!" She turned round and was hit in the face by the balled up parchment that Enmyria had thrown to get her attention. "There's a Gryffindor here looking for you."

Elena was outside bouncing up and down as though she needed to pee. "Mithian! I need you to come to the Gryffindor common room, something's happened."

"What?" Mithian asked, but Elena was already taking the steps down two at a time, leaving Mithian to follow her.

On the climb up Gryffindor Tower they met up with Merlin who was being chivvied along by Gwaine. 

Mithian and Merlin exchanged baffled looks as Elena and Gwaine shouted "Sweet Dreams!" in unison and the portrait of the Fat Lady swung open to reveal Arthur and Vivian curled up together in one too-small armchair, sharing soppy, glazed-over looks, and feeding each other Every Flavour Beans.

Vivian accepted a bean from Arthur's fingers, gave a simpering giggle, and said, "Honey: it's sweet, just like you." 

Arthur pretended to nibble Vivian's fingertips, before taking a bean. "Snot flavour," he said with a dopey grin. "But what's a bit of bogey compared to true love."

"I didn't think they liked each other," said Merlin.

"I thought Vivian was--" Mithian began.

"It was meant to be a _joke_ ," said Leon, sounding so guilty that he forgot that he was ignoring Mithian.

"These two idiots," said Elena, jerking her thumb at Leon and Gwaine, "put a love potion in their pumpkin juice at dinner."

"We brewed the antidote too," insisted Leon. "But I guess our potion wasn't up to snuff because we gave it to them and… nothing."

"It should wear off in about twenty-four hours," said Gwaine, sounding abashed. "But until then… girls and boys aren't _meant_ to be able to get into each other's dorms, but..."

"Right, Arthur, old mate," said Merlin, striding across the common room and hauling Arthur to his feet; dumping Vivian onto the floor in the process. He threw his arm around Arthur's neck in a friendly headlock. "Let's get you back to the Slytherin dorms for the night."

Vivian let out an outraged screech of "Arthur!" and tried to run after Merlin. Mithian grabbed her by the elbow, and looked at Elena who took the hint and managed to catch Vivian's other arm.

"Let's walk her the long way round to Ravenclaw Tower," suggested Mithian. "The fresh air might clear her head."

Vivian was trapped between them as they marched her down the stairs, out the main doors, and behind the greenhouses. She kept interrupting her ode to the bump on Arthur's nose in order to attempt escape to find him.

"This," grumbled Mithian as she clamped her hand over Vivian's mouth to forestall a ballad about Arthur's majestic conk, "is why I don't fancy anybody."

Elena caught her eye and grinned. 

 

_Fifth Year_

"Wow," said Elena when they all met up on Platform 9&3/4, "you look different."

Mithian had two sets of new school robes, as well as new Quidditch robes. "I'm still trying to work out how tits are going to affect the turning circle on a Cleansweep Seven."

Elena threw herself against Mithian in an awkward rib-cracking hug that resulted in Mithian being stabbed with her own brand new prefect badge. "Ow!"

"Sorry," said Elena, disentangling herself. "I just worried that you might have changed."

"Can you two get a move on," grumbled Morgana, dragging her trunk behind her. "We can talk about Mithian's tits on the train."

"Or," suggested Gwen, "we could talk about literally anything else." 

*

Gwen was sobbing on the floor of the History of Magic section of the library. Freya was pressed against her, rubbing her back and making soothing noises. 

"What happened?" Mithian asked.

"Lance... Lancelot..." That was as much as Gwen could get out before dissolving into sniffles again.

"Lancelot finished with her," explained Elena, who was squatting on her heels next to Gwen.

"This is all Arthur's fault," said Morgana. She and Vivian were leaning against shelves filled with dusty tomes about goblin rebellions, feigning indifference to Gwen's tears. 

Mithian rolled her eyes. "Not everything is about your weird sibling rivalry with Arthur, Morgana."

Vivian flipped open a book, sneezed, and said, "Arthur told Lancelot that he fancied Gwen, and Lancelot, the spineless wonder, broke up with her so that Arthur could ask her out."

*

"You complete prat," Mithian told Arthur when she found him hovering on his broom over the Quidditch pitch, his toes skimming the grass.

"She won't go out with me, anyway," he said, tragically.

"Of course she won't. What have you ever done to make her like you? Have you ever really talked to her?"

"I talked to Lancelot--"

Mithian picked up a bludger from an open box of Quidditch supplies and hurled it at Arthur; she never would have made a Beater because it thudded into the grass well short of Arthur. He gaped openmouthed at her.

"She's a girl, Arthur, not a chocolate frog card! You can't just trade her with your mates." 

*

Mithian caught Vivian and Percy snogging behind the greenhouses, and deducted five points apiece from Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. 

"I thought we were friends," Vivian whined afterwards.

"Just think of how many points Morgana would have taken from Gryffindor if she'd been the one to catch you."

Vivian flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Oh, that's been over for _ages_."

"So you're not--"

Vivian huffed and snapped, "We're not all frigid cows like you."

Mithian's fingernails dug into her palms as she watched Vivian stalk away with her nose in the air. At least with her back turned Vivian had no way of knowing how close to a nerve she'd struck.

*

Between her prefect duties, Quidditch practice, and ever-increasing amounts of homework, Mithian didn't actually see much of Vivian after Christmas; she didn't see much of Elena either.

Morgana, Gwen, and Freya she mostly saw in quietly desperate OWL revision sessions in the library.

Things got so frantic that Mithian went so far as to ask Enmyria if she could sit out the Ravenclaw - Hufflepuff Quidditch match. 

"Come on, Mithian," Enmyria wheedled. "You're the best Seeker Ravenclaw's had in years." When she saw that flattery was getting her nowhere Enmyria tried guilt. "I've got my NEWTs this year, and you don't see me asking to benched." Finally she said, "It's only Hufflepuff, it's not like it's going to be _hard_." 

* 

Percy had made the Hufflepuff team as a Beater this year. As Mithian lost her grip on her broom, her left arm that sort of numb that suggested that there would be quite a lot of pain once the numbness receded, and fell towards the ground, Enmyria's words about Hufflepuff rang in her mind. 

A broken collarbone was beyond Gwen's healing charms, and Mithian was carted off to the Hospital Wing. 

Percy followed her up like a giant, apologetic puppy. He finally allowed himself to be chivvied out by Gaius only after Mithian had assured him that, honestly, she was fine, apology unnecessary but accepted. 

Mithian's mates visited. Gwen brought her grapes and a book about infamous and increasingly horrific injuries sustained by professional Quidditch players; Mithian flicked through it in horrified fascination.

Freya and Morgana brought her homework. "Nice try, Morgana," said Mithian, "this is your homework, not mine."

Elena sneaked in between classes to drop off a box of chocolate frogs; Mithian noticed that she'd forgone Gryffindor colours and her nails were painted a rainbow riot of different colours. 

"I thought you were banned from Honeydukes after you accidentally flooded their stockroom?"

"Still am," replied Elena; she'd filled out this year and finally grown into her robes, but her grin was still a little kid's. "My Aunt Grunhilda sends the chocolates; I swear she thinks I'm still _ten_." Elena popped a chocolate frog into her mouth with relish. 

*

The run-up the OWLs was so awful that it was almost a relief when the exams actually started. 

Mithian had started to get blinding headaches whenever she so much as thought of opening a book. Gwen had asked Professor Aglain what OWL results she'd need to be a Healer at St Mungo's, and had a full blown panic attack at the answer. Freya had eaten a mouthful of gillyweed and sat at the bottom of the lake for five hours. Morgana got into a duel with a classmate who had sneeringly asked why she was worried about the Defence Against the Dark Arts exam, after all, with a family like hers she must already know a lot about the dark arts.

Mithian and Gwen had four days of exams left - Morgana and Freya had five; the Care of Magical Creatures practical was dead last so that even if you were badly hurt it wouldn't stop you sitting your other exams - but they all had a free day because even Hogwarts didn't schedule exams the morning after the midnight Astronomy exam.

Mithian headed up to the Gryffindor common room, desperate to have a conversation about _anything_ other than the OWLs.

Leon waved her up to the girls' dormitory, and Mithian followed the smell of nail polish fumes and the sound of laughter up the stairs. 

In her dorm Elena was painting Gwaine's nails black to match his robes and the fluff on his cheeks - so much for the boys not being able to get into the girls' dorm.

"I'll leave you girls to it," he said. He Charmed his nails dry, ruffled Elena's hair, and flashed Mithian a cheeky grin before heading downstairs whistling. 

Elena attempted to unruffle her hair, and only succeeded in tangling it more. "How did you get in here, exactly?"

"I slashed the Fat Lady in two," said Mithian, dropping down onto Vivian's bed with a bit of bounce. "At least, I was going to, but Arthur let me in, so I didn't have to deface any paintings."

"Not that I'm not happy to see you--" Elena did look happy to see her, and Mithian smiled in response; there had always been something easy and uncomplicated about hanging out with Elena "--but I thought you were holed up in the library till the OWLs were done?"

"That was the plan, but I've started getting pre-emptive headaches every time I walk into the library. I'm not even seeing my revision notes anymore. I need a distraction." Mithian grinned. "Know anyone?"

"I can be distracting! What do you think, Hogsmeade? Or, oh, I could do your nails! I haven't done them since your first Quidditch match."

"I don't mind what we do," said Mithian. "But I'd love for you to do my nails; Gwaine's looked great."

"Yeah, well," said Elena, "it's nice to be good at something."

"Oh, hush. You're good at lots of things. How are your exams going, by the way?"

Elena blushed red. "Professor Nimueh said my Summoning Charm was the best in the year." She fumbled around with her box of nail supplies and avoided Mithian's eyes. "I've missed you, you know?"

"Yeah, I missed you too." Mithian offered her hand, palm down, to Elena. "I'm sorry, I wish I'd made more time to hang out with you this term."

"It's okay." Elena selected a purple bottle of nail polish, and took Mithian's hand. "I get that you needed to revise." She bit her lip and added, "You know, Mordred is taking bets on when you and Arthur are going to announce you're going out, or if you'll just skip straight to the engagement announcement."

"What?" Mithian snatched her hand back and Elena slopped purple nail polish over her skin.

" _Sorry._ "

"Since when do you listen to Mordred? Since when does _anyone_ listen to Mordred? Is this because of Hogsmeade?" 

Arthur and Mithian had gone down to the village together after their horrible History of Magic exam. They'd drank three butterbeers and been chased out of an elderly witch's garden when Arthur had decided he was going to pick flowers for Gwen. "She likes Herbology, right?" he'd said, vaulting the garden wall.

"We were trying to empty our heads of goblin rebellions, and we only went together because Merlin was in one of his super secret advanced exams, and I'd been shut up studying with Morgana, Gwen, and Freya so much that I was sick of the sight of all of them. We're not--"

"I was only teasing," said Elena, easing Mithian's hand back towards her and stroking Mithian's skin with her thumb; it was nice.

Mithian didn't know why she was being so defensive. She smiled tightly and said, "Well, if you're going to tease me, you should tease about someone I actually like, not Arthur."

Elena looked up, her eyes wide with surprise. "Do you like someone? I know Leon fancied you for a while last year--"

" _No._ " Mithian felt a little guilty about how emphatic her answer was. Leon was a nice enough guy, and plenty of other girls fancied him, just not Mithian.

"Morgana, then?" said Elena. "I mean, if you liked Slytherins. Or, or if you liked girls? I could see it." She blushed. "I had a bit of a crush on her myself last year."

It had occurred to Mithian that she might be gay, but she didn't seem to fancy girls any more than she fancied boys, at least not in the same way everyone else did. 

"If I did it would _not_ be Morgana." Mithian's stomach tied itself in knots. She'd never liked talking about who she fancied, or didn't fancy, and for some reason the idea of Elena _liking_ liking Morgana really bothered her. She squirmed and said, "Elena, please, can we talk about something else?"

"Let me just finish your nails, and then you can go," said Elena, sounding mortified. "I didn't mean to annoy you."

"You didn't. You don't," Mithian promised. "Just talk to me about something that isn't OWLs or Morgana."

Elena chatted away about how Vivian and Elyan had started going out. "Blimey, she gets around," Mithian said fondly. And about how Gwaine was trying to grow a beard because he thought Merlin might like it.

Elena lifted Mithian's hand and blew on her nails to dry them. It felt weird... easy and comfortable, but weird.

 

_Sixth Year_

Mithian always missed Hogwarts over the summer holidays, especially when she was at her mum's. Usually she threw herself into her homework, but her OWL results hadn't arrived, and she hadn't decided which subjects she was taking for NEWTs, so she didn't have any yet.

She thought about Elena, probably more than she thought about the rest of her friends put together. She'd convinced herself that the weirdness between them at the end of last term had just been exam stress; all of fifth year had been wound tight as a spring, and Mithian had been neglecting her friendship with Elena.

Maybe when she went to her dad's she'd ask if Elena could come and stay? 

The phone rang, and a moment later Mithian's mum called up the stairs, "Mithian, sweetheart, it's for you. It's one of your school friends." 

Mum sounded as confused as Mithian; no one from Hogwarts had ever rung her at her mum's before, and they only sent owls when Mithian was at her dad's - her mum didn't like the reminder of magic.

"Elena's been kidnapped," said Gwen when Mithian picked up the phone.

"--What?"

"She's fine," Gwen promised. "At least, the Prophet says she's fine. I'm staying with Freya - we're at the phone box in the village - and her parents get the Daily Prophet. Look, give me your mum's address? Freya's mum will let us use their owl to send you the paper."

Mithian rattled off the address. It was only one owl, and it was _Elena_ ; her mum would just have to lump it.

Gwen said that she and Freya were going to write to Elena, and did Mithian want them to include a message from her?"

"No." Mithian wanted to read the article in the Prophet; she wanted to know exactly what had happened. She didn't want it to be like she was signing a get well card to someone she barely knew. "I'll write to her myself when I get to dad's and can use Elphius."

*

_The Gawant family had no idea that Grunhilda, who had spent years posing as a family friend and near squib, was in fact a convicted criminal whose wand had been snapped for practicing the dark arts. This villainess believed that draining the magic from the Gawants daughter would be enough to restore her own magic; the fact that this would kill the girl in question did not seem to prick her conscience._

_Grunhilda was apprehended by Aurors and has been remanded to Azkaban. Elena Gawant is recovering at home with her family, and is expected to return to Hogwarts to begin her fifth year in September._

*

Mithian wrote to Elena more than once. She asked how Elena was doing, if she wanted to come and stay with Mithian, if she wanted Mithian to come and stay with her...?

When Elena didn't write back Mithian started to worry that she'd gone a bit over the top, and when she didn't see Elena on the platform at King's Cross she worried that maybe the younger girl wasn't coming back to school this year after all. 

As a prefect Mithian was expected to patrol the train, to make sure no one was running, or doing magic, and that none of the first years were eating so many chocolate frogs that they'd be sick. 

Shirking their prefect duties for five minutes Mithian, Morgana, and Arthur slipped into a compartment to find Elena jammed between Gwaine and Lancelot with a sleepy, spaced out expression. Gwen and Freya were sitting opposite, and Percy was sitting beneath the window, his long legs stretching nearly the full length of the compartment.

Morgana and Gwaine launched into a half-hearted argument about whether she's allowed to take points from Gryffindor before they've actually arrived at Hogwarts, and Arthur addressed Elena with such awkward but sincere formality that it had Gwen blinking in surprise at him.

"Anything you need," he said gravely, "don't hesitate to let me know."

"Er," said Mithian. "Elena, can I have a word?"

Everyone in the compartment seemed to bunch protectively around Elena, and Mithian should have felt happy that Elena was so well liked and looked after, instead she felt horribly, unfairly excluded.

Out in the corridor Elena looked -- she looked _fine_. Her robes weren't askew, her tie was knotted neatly, her hair was brushed smooth, and her nails were clean and unpainted. It made Mithian strangely uncomfortable.

There were lots of things she could have said instead: _I'm so sorry_ , or _I'm glad you're okay_ , what came out instead was, "You didn't answer my letters."

Elena's face was expressionless. "Sorry," she said tonelessly. "I was too busy being kidnapped and almost killed to send an owl."

Elena turned around and stomped back into the compartment; before Mithian could make up her mind to follow her a first year lurched out of a compartment two doors down and puked chocolate frogs all over the floor.

*

Elena stood in front of one of the carriages that would carry them up to the school for a long time; she reached her hand out as though petting something that Mithian couldn't see. 

Vivian ushered her into the carriage, and when Mithian made to follow, Vivian seized her by the elbow and fiercely whispered, "This isn't about _you_."

Mithian stepped back, stunned. She'd just been told off for selfishness by _Vivian_ of all people. She waited for the next carriage.

*

For their first few weeks back at Hogwarts Mithian only ever saw Elena with Vivian, who was hovering protectively, and would snarl furious, vindictive insults at anyone she caught staring at Elena.

Mithian was friendly enough with the other Ravenclaw girls in her year, but she wasn't that close to any of them. She had never envied any special closeness Gwen and Freya might have from being Housemates; except maybe during activities like Dueling Club where they had to pair off and as the two 'spares' Mithian and Morgana were usually thrown together.

But now that Vivian seemed to be the only one that Elena was comfortable spending any time around Mithian did feel something like envy.

*

Gwen caught Mithian staring across the Great Hall to where Elena was sitting between Vivian and Elyan, laughing at something Elyan had just said.

Her eyes crinkled in sympathy. "You have to give her time."

*

"You're jealous," Morgana said.

"And you're wrong," Mithian countered. 

"Seriously. You were the one who practically adopted Elena back when she was a baby first year, and ever since then she's followed you around like a puppy. God, she's fancied you for years. Then this sh-- this thing happens to her, and you aren't the one she wants around."

"That isn't fair."

"Life isn't fair," replied Morgana across the library table.

*

Freya was doing a special Transfiguration project under Professor Annis' supervision - she was attempting to become an Animagus.

Freya poked the inside of her cheek with her tongue as she tucked the mandrake leaf she had to hold in her mouth for a month behind her teeth. She dug in her bag for parchment and a quill, scrawled something, and handed the parchment to Mithian.

_Do you like Elena?_

"Of course I do. Everyone likes Elena."

Freya snatched the parchment back, did some crossing out, and jabbed it with her wand. 

_Do you_ like _like Elena?_

Mithian couldn't answer that, she honestly didn't know.

*

Mithian found Elena sitting alone in the library. "Can I--?" she gestured towards an empty seat.

"I don't want to talk about Grunhilda," Elena warned. "I don't want talk about my feelings, or how I'm doing."

"Okay," Mithian promised, sliding into the seat and pulling her half finished Charms homework out of her bag. For a while there was nothing but the sound of pages turning and quills scratching on parchment until Mithian took a deep breath and said, "I, er, was made Quidditch captain this year."

Elena glanced up, and Mithian caught a brief flash of a smile. She looked studiously back at her homework and after a moment she asked, "How are tryouts going?"

"Oh, God--" said Mithian, and began telling Elena about the first years that were trying out and how she couldn't believe any of them had ever been so little, or so rubbish at flying.

She felt tension leaving her spine; it didn't matter that Elena didn't want to talk to her about what happened over the summer, as long as Elena was talking to her.

*

Morgana had a desperate crush on their new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. 

Morgause this, Morgause that... that was all Mithian and the others heard from her. The last time Morgana had been this obsessed with anything it had been her fixation on Divination back in third year. 

Mithian might have been thinking about Elena a lot, but at least she didn't feel the need to bore her friends to death about it.

*

Hours after Mithian had caught the snitch in the Ravenclaw - Gryffindor Quidditch match she realised that she'd left her wand in the changing room and went back for it. She walked in on Arthur and Gwen snogging. 

Gwen later confided in Mithian that, on balance, she thought that Arthur actually was a nice lad who sometimes acted like a prat and not a prat pretending to be a decent guy to get close to her. Also, she'd said, he was pretty gorgeous.

Despite the fact that Gryffindor had just been knocked out of the running for the Quidditch cup Arthur looked delighted; he was grinning dopily, and he had messy hair and red shiny lips. 

*

Mithian had gotten used to the idea that she _liked_ liked Elena, but she didn't know if she actually fancied Elena. 

She noticed Elena's appearance. She liked Elena's hands, although she missed her brightly painted fingernails - Elena had thrown out the box of nail polish that Grunhilda had sent her over the years. She was relieved that Elena had started to wear her hair slightly messily again, and not brushed into the glossy Stepford smoothness that she'd favoured immediately after the kidnapping. 

Elena had her OWLs coming up, and she was still dealing with the aftermath of what Grunhilda had done to her. The last thing she needed was a girlfriend who didn't even know if she was interested in kissing.

 

_Seventh Year_

"Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me?" Mithian had spent her summer holidays thinking about Elena.

"Yeah, of course," said Elena, examining her timetable for the coming year.

Mithian remembered the misunderstanding that had led to her awkward date with Leon back in fourth year. "Um, I mean. Just the two of us. Like a date." 

Mithian had never been any good at knowing when people fancied her. Morgana had sounded dead sure that Elena liked Mithian like that, but she was never going to listen to Morgana about anything ever again, because Elena's face crumpled, she stuffed her timetable into her bag, and took off down the corridor without saying a word.

*

"What is _wrong_ with you?" Vivian was waiting for Mithian outside the Ravenclaw common room, practically hopping with fury. "She's liked you for ages. You do know that, don't you? But you always had your nose in the air, like you were too good to like anyone--"

"I like Elena!" Mithian snapped back. "At least, I think I do. I might."

Vivian narrowed her eyes. "You don't sound sure."

"Can you just give her a message from me," Mithian wheedled, "please. I don't want her to think that I was making fun of her."

*

The Astronomy Tower at midnight had seemed like a good idea for a meeting place, but Mithian hadn't taken into account that it was a good deal easier to get there from the Ravenclaw common room than the Gryffindor one. 

She was almost ready to give up and go feel like a fool back in her bed when she heard an "Ow!" and Elena stumbled onto the roof, hopping slightly. "I tripped," she said sheepishly. "I should have lit my wand."

Mithian felt a rush of warm, fuzzy feelings for Elena. "You don't do that so much anymore," she said, "trip over things, I mean."

"No, I--" Elena looked away. "Grunhilda put something in those chocolate frogs she used to send me, made me clumsier than I should have been. I can't even look at a chocolate frog now."

"I'm sorry. I know you don't like to talk about it."

"Well," said Elena, in a put-on brave voice, "what's all the cloak and dagger, meet me on top of the tallest tower at midnight stuff in aid of?"

"It's about what I said the other day. When I asked you out..."

Elena stepped closer, and Mithian could see that she'd thrown her school robes on over her pyjamas. "Mithian, do you fancy me?"

"I don't know." To her dismay, Mithian felt hot, angry tears burning in her eyes. "I like you, I think about you all the time. But I don't think I can fancy people, not like normal people do--"

Elena threw her arms around Mithian in a fierce, protective hug. "You are normal," she whispered urgently in Mithian's ear. "God, you're the most normal one out of the lot of us."

"I've never even kissed anyone," Mithian confessed into Elena's shoulder. 

"We could try." Elena pulled back, but she was still close enough that Mithian could see her blush. "I've only ever snogged Vivian and Gwaine, and only for practice, which doesn't really count. But we could try, if you wanted to--?"

When Mithian didn't say anything Elena stepped back, almost folding into herself. "No," said Mithian, clutching at Elena's hands like straws. "Let's try. I want to."

Elena grinned, that same little kid grin she'd had since first year. She shuffled closer and ran her hands up Mithian's arms to her shoulders. Mithian wasn't sure what to do with her own hands, so she settled for gathering fistfuls of Elena's robes. 

Elena cocked her head, and Mithian moved the same way. There was a quick awkward giggle; Elena corrected, their noses squashed together, and then they were kissing. 

It was... nice. 

"Well," Elena asked, pulling back with a little huff. "What did you think?"

"I think I'd need to do it again," said Mithian, ducking in as though to kiss Elena again. Elena's laugh was everything, and Mithian knew she didn't want anyone else to kiss Elena; she wanted to be the only one who made Elena laugh like that. 

"Elena," she said, "d'you want to go to Hogsmeade with me?"

Elena laughed. "Yeah, of course."

* 

Mithian liked kissing Elena, not to the exclusion of everything else - not like Arthur and Gwen, who seemed permanently joined at the lips, their matching Head Boy and Head Girl badges flashing on their robes - but she did like it. 

More than the kissing, Mithian liked the soft warmth of Elena's body leaning into hers as they talked or studied. She liked holding hands as they walked across the Hogwarts grounds, and the way Elena would sometimes idly start playing with Mithian's hair. She'd been strangely elated when Elena had kissed her on the tip of her nose for good luck before her last Quidditch game, to the sound of the friendly jeering of the Ravenclaw team. 

*

Mithian, Elena, Gwen, and Morgana stood in a loose circle around the panther; they were in an empty classroom, and the desks and chairs had been pushed back to make room. 

Gwen reached out and touched the big cat's head. "Oh!" she said, snatching her hand back. "You're so soft."

Morgana scratched the panther behind its ear. "Who's a good kitty?" she said in a sweet, mocking tone. The cat turned back into Freya with an indignant pop, and she shied away from Morgana's touch. 

"That's brilliant," Mithian told her. "That's an automatic 'Outstanding' on your Transfiguration NEWT, right?"

"I always thought you'd be an otter," Elena ventured. "Or a duck."

"Do you spend a lot of time thinking about what our Animagus forms would be?" Morgana asked with a sneer in her voice.

"Yes. You'd be a crow--" Morgana's robes and artfully disheveled hair, which Mithian knew from holiday visits took her at least an hour in the bathroom each morning, did look a bit like the ruffled feathers of a crow. "Gwen would be a doe. Viv, you'd be one of those fancy white cats that the bad guys have in those muggle movies--"

Vivian's nose wrinkled, just like a Persian cat's; Mithian laughed and joined in with Elena's game. "You," she pointed at her girlfriend, "would be a Golden Retriever puppy."

"You really think so?" Elena asked with face splitting grin. 

Gwen and Freya went "aww" in unison; Morgana made gagging noises.

*

Mithian lay on Vivian's bed glancing through the careers advice pamphlets Professor Annis had given her. She and Elena had Elena's dorm to themselves; Vivian was off somewhere with Elyan. 

Elena was lying on her own bed holding her Defence Against the Dark Arts book above her head. She let it drop onto her face and let out a pitiful "Ow."

Mithian rolled up into a sitting position. "You okay?"

"I swear," Elena said surfacing from beneath her book, "if I fail this exam again, it'll be because my boggart will appear as the idea of having to take the Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL _three_ times." 

Everyone at Hogwarts knew that Elena had failed her OWL because she'd had a panic attack when her boggart had appeared as Grunhilda, and that's why the teachers were letting her redo it. But Elena went funny whenever anyone else mentioned it, so Mithian made a sympathetic but noncommittal sound. "Is there anything I can do?"

Elena patted the mattress next to her. "Come over here?"

"Of course." Mithian set aside _So You Want to be a Professional Quidditch Player_ and went over to Elena.

Elena snuggled down with her head on Mithian's lap, and passed up her textbook. "Test me on Unforgivable Curses, please?"

When Vivian swung the door open - having clattered up the stairs shouting "everyone decent in there?" - that was how she found them, fully dressed and reading.

"Oh," she said with cheerful dismay, "this isn't nearly as scandalous as I was hoping for."

Mithian didn't know if Vivian had actually expected to find them in a compromising situation; she didn't know if _Elena_ had expected something like that to happen, but something wriggly and unpleasant made a home for itself in Mithian's belly.

*

"Gwen slept with Arthur," Morgana said, and Mithian knocked over her bubbling cauldron. She and Morgana were in the Potions classroom after hours working on their NEWT projects.

"I can't know that!" cried Mithian, although that did explain what Gwen and Freya had been whispering and giggling about after the holidays. Mithian used a vanishing spell to clean up her half brewed ooze of a potion before it could eat through the desk. "How do you know that, anyway?"

"She came to visit at Christmas. I'm in the next bedroom."

"Ew," Mithian said flatly. She set about chopping another mandrake root to recreate her potion.

"It's only sex, it's nothing special. Gwen's had it, and I heard that Vivian and Elyan got close in the Room of Requirement once. I've done it, too." 

Mithian focused on her chopping as the morbid curiosity crept up on her. "Who with?"

"Sophia Aulfric--" the Slytherin prefect who had finished Hogwarts last year; Mithian remembered Morgana's thing with Vivian years ago, her type must be prissy, bossy girls "--I went to London to get away from the love birds, and Sophia has a flat over Knockturn Alley now, so..."

"Arthur had done it so you had to, too." Mithian rolled her eyes. "That's childish."

"Speaking of childish, does Elena know you're never planning on shagging her?"

Mithian's knife slipped and she sliced the pad of her thumb. "I--"

Morgana looked at her with an approximation of sympathy. "I notice things, Mithian. Mostly I don't care, but I do notice them."

Mithian was sucking on her thumb. "We're in _school_ ," she managed to say around the bleeding digit.

"Yeah, for the moment. We're only a couple of months away from taking our NEWTs, and if you don't think you and Elena are ever going to go beyond hand holding you should probably say something before she spends yet another year pining for you."

* 

After school Freya was going to move to the Highlands to study kelpies. Gwen had an apprenticeship already set up at St Mungo's, as long as she got the expected marks on her NEWTs. 

Partly because she wanted to stick two fingers up to the people who'd expected her to turn to the dark arts, and partly because having a crush on the teacher meant that she paid extra close attention in NEWT Defence Against the Dark Arts, Morgana had been interviewing at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. 

Arthur had an offer from the Auror office, as well as a trial at Puddlemere United - he'd confessed to Mithian that his dad wanted him to go for the trial, but really he'd prefer not to follow in his father's footsteps and become an Auror instead.

Mithian had a trial at Puddlemere, as well as one with the Holyhead Harpies; her bedside table was stuffed full of unread leaflets about careers within the Ministry. 

* 

Elena was sitting on Mithian's bed in the empty Ravenclaw dorm as Mithian packed for her weekend trial with the Harpies.

"Vivian said something daft," said Elena; Mithian gave an unsurprised snort. "She said that if you become a professional Quidditch player at least I won't have to worry about you running off with a fan."

Mithian froze with a tin of broom polish in hand. "Morgana thinks I should finish with you," she said carefully. "She thinks you should be free to go out with somebody who wants, er, you know--"

Elena blinked. "Morgana's an idiot. Like I'd give up a pro Quidditch player for--" Elena cast about for someone who'd still be at school "--I don't know, Mordred."

"I haven't made a professional team."

" _Yet_ ," said Elena. She held her hands out, and when Mithian took them she tugged her down onto the bed. Mithian ended up lying pressed against Elena, her arm around Elena's waist; she could feel Elena's breath on her cheek when the other girl said, "You know what I want?"

If Elena said _sex_ , Mithian thought she'd do it. She'd be doing it for the same reason that she spent her Saturday afternoons hanging around Zonko's Joke Shop - because it made Elena happy, not because it was what she really wanted to do. 

"I want you to nail this trial, become a famous Quidditch player, and come visit me in Hogsmeade at weekends." Sophia had come up a few times to see Morgana, and Merlin had done his NEWTs a year early and vanished into the Department of Mysteries, but he still came up on Hogsmeade weekends to hang out with Arthur. "And maybe after school it'll bother me more, or maybe you'll meet a Quidditch groupie who really doesn't care, but until then--"

Mithian pressed a quick, neat kiss to Elena's mouth; she rested her forehead against Elena's and said, "You're completely brilliant. I don't deserve you."

"Yes." When Elena kissed Mithian it was longer, messier, and Mithian smiled into it. "Yes, you do."


End file.
